How To Die Old, but Not Too Old

The boomer generation, in their unending attempt to live forever, have been designated by the medical establishment as the young/old—i.e. in their 60s and 70s.  Still in good health, they have contempt for the old/old-- 80s/90s-- whom they don’t seem to realize they are destined to become unless they wind up in a box first.   The worst prejudice against the old/old comes from folks only ten or so years their junior.

One of my Facebook followers writes “I will never ever refer to myself as a senior, or crone, elderly or anything that depicts old age--because like it or not, that creates the image of being infirm, frail, dementia, nursing homes, etc. I think of myself as young, I act young, and I look young. What you think and say about yourself, even joking or being snarky, often comes to pass.”

How about WILL come to pass--unless of course you're planning to live forever. If you make the mistake of taking good care of yourself, eating your veggies, doing your Pilates, meditating and thinking happy thoughts you too have a chance to become one of those frail, demented, pitiful old people hobbling around on a walker or wearing a diaper in a nursing home.

To avoid that dreaded fate I suggest you stop exercising, start smoking Marlboros, drinking double vodkas and eating huge quantities of junk food before it’s too late.  You just might be able to check out early and never get to be really old.