Living Vicariously
Before this goddamned pandemic I actually had a life. Now I have TV.
This is the mid-week edition of Snarky Senior where I will come up with something for you to read, watch or listen to each week. I am an unapologetic binge watcher. You’ll get regular recommendations for smart, satirical TV series, great movies, favorite Audible books and podcasts, the best/worst trashy reality TV shows.
I will try my damnedest to only pick shows that do NOT focus on nubile young bodies having sex. Any movie or show with older characters will go to the top of the list. So will shows with great writing, acting and cinematography. You are forewarned that I’m a fan of sci fi and horror, which is not generally popular with my older friends. You can live with that can’t you? I will try to broaden your horizons.
I used to go out a lot—dinners, concerts, movies, parties, trivia nights. Those were the before-times. I can barely remember that time.
Now in the after-times I’m living vicariously. I have no mate to keep me company. What do I have? I have television. Actually I have four televisions. Did any of us ever think there would come a time that anyone—much less a single far-from-wealthy person--could have so many televisions? I’m a gadget freak and have more than one of everything techy.
With no plans and nothing to do, I have to figure out a way to separate day from night. So I switch TVs.
During the day I watch the Today Show, the View and CNN on the 40” set in the dining area while I’m working. I save my main TV—the 55 inch one in the living room—for bingeing, with a glass of wine or my latest booze craze—crème de cassis on the rocks--and some chocolates in a glass bowl. Very elegante. And fattening.
I DVR the Today show so I don’t actually have to get up at 7am to watch. My daytime girlfriends are Hoda and Savannah on Today and Whoopi and Joy and Sarah on the View. I often mix up blondes Savannah and Sarah but Whoopie and Joy are my besties—my snarky senior role models. They invented the genre.
I even have a frenemy—the girlfriend I love to hate—Meghan McCain. She is so annoying, so Republican. I like to be snarky about her weird makeup—glitter eyeshadow and shiny pink blush-- amateurish since the pandemic is forcing her to do it herself. We like to make fun of her. By “we” I mean my Facebook friends. Who are my only friends.
When it gets dark I close the blinds, move to the recliner and make believe it’s time to relax—as if I’d been running around all day and really looked forward to getting home. Except I’ve been relaxing all day, which my watch keeps reminding me about with notifications like “It’s been an hour. Time to get up and walk.” So annoying.
I look for shows that are NOT about teenagers or gorgeous young adults having sex. No, I am not a prude. Sex and the City is my all-time favorite show. The writing was witty and brilliant and I watched it after my divorce—it reminded me of how happy I was before I got married. I don’t want to be reminded of what I’m missing—youth and sex.
I am always looking for shows that I can relate to. I would watch Grace and Frankie 24/7 if there were enough episodes.
I wasn’t going to watch the Emmy’s this year because…hello…what is an awards show without a red carpet? Boring. Which it was. But as a TV binger I felt obligated to show up.
Not only was there no red carpet but my least favorite show, Schitt’s Creek, won in every category it was in. I tried to like Schitt’s Creek, I really did. I dutifully watched almost one whole season but wound up finding it dumb and unfunny.
Here are my picks, one of which actually cleaned up this year.
Succession. HBO. This took top honors for all the right reasons. It is one of those dark comedy/dramas that revel in the machinations of the super-rich: The Roys, a media dynasty, jockey for control of the family’s empire after the paterfamilias, Logan Roy, modeled on Rupert Murdoch, has a stroke. Dad is a manipulative sadist and his children, following in his footsteps, are addicts, weaklings, and liars, but smart and funny. Think the Trump family, just with better writers. The series rises above its soap opera premise with a brilliant script, compelling acting and biting satire. Favorite lines: “You don’t hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the MySpace of STDs” … “The ‘Logan Roy School of Journalism?’ What’s next, the ‘Jack the Ripper Women’s Health Clinic?”
Better Call Saul. Netflix. Along with the ability to own a plethora of TVs who ever predicted a six- season long TV show that you have to have watched another seven-season long TV show to understand? My snooty foreign-film loving friends who turn up their noses at TV as a source of “culture” are missing the most nuanced exploration of character I’ve seen in any medium. And some of the most spectacular cinematography. Jimmy McGill is a small time ambulance chasing lawyer with a propensity for bending the rules who winds losing whatever moral compass he had to represent murderous drug-dealers. Along the road to becoming the criminal Saul Goodman, he tries to go straight to gain the approval of his legendary trial lawyer brother. You can enjoy Better Call Saul--the prequel to Breaking Bad--without having seen the source material but why deprive yourself of that many seasons of pure bingeing joy? For me the unanswered question is, why did the writers turn an Irish guy into a Jewish guy? But that’s not in the script.
What are your favorite shows? You can comment here or on Facebook.
Spread the word!
If you know someone who might enjoy some snark in their inbox once or twice a week, forward this newsletter their way. You can subscribe (and link to it) here. You can follow me on Twitter here (Don’t expect much. I hate Twitter), and on Facebook here (I love Facebook. It’s where we older folks hang out). Email me anytime at Askerica@gmail.com. Suggestions and feedback welcome.
Love “Last Tango in Halifax”
So fun and funny. The TV switching part was the best. I feel like it’s worth writing more about. I could see you dancing from tube to tube.