Old, Oldster, Elder, Senior. Which One Are You?

Hardly anyone admits to actually being old.

You are old, Father William," the young man said,

And your hair has become very white;

And yet you incessantly stand on your head—

Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

---Lewis Carroll

Elder, older, older adult, senior citizen, golden-ager, retiree, what do we want to be called when we get to "a certain age?" Whatever term you use, it’s guaranteed that them’s going to be fightin’ words for at least some people who have reached that age.

 According to Wikipedia “Euphemisms and terms for old people include: old people (worldwide usage), seniors (American usage), senior citizens (British and American usage), older adults (in the social sciences), the elderly, and elders (in many cultures including the cultures of aboriginal people).                             

Hardly anyone admits to actually being old. A Pew Research Center study of 2,929 Americans, age 18 plus, found respondents under 30 said that old age begins at 60, but respondents 65 plus said 74. One 90 year old woman didn’t think old started until you were 95.

Unlike those study participants, I admit to being unapologetically old at 79.  And I’ll be  old for the rest of my life, however long that is.   So what do I want to be called?

 “If society wasn’t ageist, we’d be totally fine with being old,” says Ashton Applewhite anti ageism advocate and author of “This Chair Rocks.”

Elder sounds respectful, but personally I think you should belong to an Aboriginal tribe to use it, otherwise it sounds pretentious.

Older adult is growing in popularity because it’s similar to young adult.  Accent on “similar.”   No one says younger adult.   So why not just say “old” and forget the “adult”

 I call myself a “little old lady” occasionally because “old” is modified by the accurate “little” and “lady.” I am not a “cute” little old lady, however. The tendency to call the extremely old, “cute” is sickening.  Babies and kittens are cute.  Old people are grownups.  Try to remember that.

 I kind of like “crone.” You might get slapped if you call an old woman a “crone,” but I think this term should be rehabilitated.  Like “elder” it was once a term of respect.    

Then there are all the jokey names for old, “oldster, geezer, biddy, fogey, even alta cocker  because Yiddish can be counted upon to have the most colorful slang.  These rather old-fashioned terms have fallen out of favor in an era where youth can be counted on to use cruder slang, like “old fart.”

If I had to pick one it would be geezer.  I’m proud to be a geezer geek, in fact since I write about technology.          

If I have to pick a euphemism, I personally refer “senior,” with or without citizen attached,  because any word that is so often paired with “discount,” can’t be all bad.

 At least it sounds a bit dignified.  

Can this be an American problem? The founder of the British magazine “Oldie” says his aim was to produce “an antidote to youth culture but, more importantly, a magazine with emphasis on good writing, humour and quality illustration.” Can you imagine an American magazine for old people with a regular column called“Still With Us,” which catches up with people you might have thought were dead. 

I wish Snarky Senior were that magazine.  Maybe someday.      

What do you call yourself?