Ha! This is a wonderful column! In my own relationship a vision of a silk purse dances in my head when the sow's ear goes down for a nap.
Seriously why do this? Happiness alone is something many of us have earned the hard way. We've done our due whatever. (I know what a schmoo is, btw.) Sometimes it's good to let nature take its course. A trip to the Barrio museum many years ago in Manhattan to a show of portraits from Latin America gave me a very real appreciation of the fact that in many eras there was no way out of marriage other than by becoming a nun. There were no options of being an independent woman.
But that's not to say that one does not occasionally provide an aspect of a happy union occurring. Sometimes one introduces a friend to another friend and the magic happens. One time I said, without planning, to a friend, "So enough of this Fred shit! Why are you still with him?" and since this was so uncharacteristic of me, she left the guy, and the next day- the next day, madonna!- met her future husband.
The woman who introduced me to my current partner was very pleased to have done so. Most of my friends think he is great, and i am lucky. And some of the time I feel that way too. Life is, after all, extremely short. He does not fit any of the descriptions of the men you were trying to get your friends to try out. Those men, and bless all of them, are so recognizable from your description. We all know them. We all know why they remain single. The thing is, they have not developed the qualities that make them suitable mates for a woman including financial self-sufficiency. If they were interested in the whole thing or in women, they would have by now. I hope you do not mind this long comment. I appreciate your take on life, Erica- very valuable insights, and vivid humor, and just an overall greatness- compliments!
Ha! This is a wonderful column! In my own relationship a vision of a silk purse dances in my head when the sow's ear goes down for a nap.
Seriously why do this? Happiness alone is something many of us have earned the hard way. We've done our due whatever. (I know what a schmoo is, btw.) Sometimes it's good to let nature take its course. A trip to the Barrio museum many years ago in Manhattan to a show of portraits from Latin America gave me a very real appreciation of the fact that in many eras there was no way out of marriage other than by becoming a nun. There were no options of being an independent woman.
But that's not to say that one does not occasionally provide an aspect of a happy union occurring. Sometimes one introduces a friend to another friend and the magic happens. One time I said, without planning, to a friend, "So enough of this Fred shit! Why are you still with him?" and since this was so uncharacteristic of me, she left the guy, and the next day- the next day, madonna!- met her future husband.
The woman who introduced me to my current partner was very pleased to have done so. Most of my friends think he is great, and i am lucky. And some of the time I feel that way too. Life is, after all, extremely short. He does not fit any of the descriptions of the men you were trying to get your friends to try out. Those men, and bless all of them, are so recognizable from your description. We all know them. We all know why they remain single. The thing is, they have not developed the qualities that make them suitable mates for a woman including financial self-sufficiency. If they were interested in the whole thing or in women, they would have by now. I hope you do not mind this long comment. I appreciate your take on life, Erica- very valuable insights, and vivid humor, and just an overall greatness- compliments!
If you fix your nurse up with someone, you are risking losing her. And you might not even hear the story.
So true
Very funny!