How did I ever live without Facebook?

I'm stuck with Mark Zuckerberg, like it or not. (I don't like it)

            Facebook is getting trashed a lot these days. And rightly so. I don’t disagree that Mark Zuckerberg is a soulless billionaire who only cares about money.  Yes, he facilitated all kinds of evil right wingers who disseminated misinformation and swung an election in favor of you-know-who.  At the same time he was putting my friends in “Facebook jail” for using profanity to trash said evil right wingers.

I hate depending on him for my social life but, sadly, I do. Like a lot of older people, who are either stuck at home because of their health, or who work at home like me, or both, my life is more on Facebook than face to face.  This last pandemic year has upped the ante substantially for all of us when it comes to living online.

 Facebook is my virtual water cooler, coffee klatch, networking tool, family updater, information gatherer, cute kitten viewer, and general window on the world. I sign on and hang out in the morning  to discuss the latest hot TV series, find out what to do about my cat who is peeing all over the place, read about the latest Trumper  horror story (looking at you Matt Gaetz), check on my homebound friends, see the latest glamorous selfie of my daughter, ask where my stimulus check is, and get the latest witty  update from a semi-famous friend whom I probably will never meet IRL.

Facebook vs. Twitter

If you’re over 65 and wondering whether to join Facebook or Twitter there’s no contest IMHO (In My Humble Opinion).  According to a new study, in the past few years Facebook has shown a complete age turnaround. Since 2011 the number of teenage users has tumbled 25% while there’s been an 80% surge in 55-up users. This report also showed a 59% slump in high school and college students and a 65% increase in college grads.   

Facebook works for our generation because it encourages users to actually write down their thoughts in paragraphs rather than come up with half a thought in half a sentence.  They may have increased the character count on Twitter but it’s still inadequate for actually communicating.    

 Celebrities love Twitter because they can reach all ten million of their fans.  But that can be a double-edged sword as our former President proved.   

Most older people don’t “get” Twitter. It’s non-intuitive and non user friendly. Of course there are boomers who are Twitter fanatics, but they’re often news junkies or invested in a particular Twitter community. Facebook is just us folks, and we’d like to keep it that way if possible.

We like Facebook because we don’t have ten million fans and we love to schmooze. Facebook encourages schmoozing.

Here are some Facebook tips

Initially Facebook can be very frustrating because, unless you have a ready-made following, you can feel pretty rejected when no one comments on your status updates. My friend Loni has a page but gave up posting at first because she said no one ever responded to her statuses. I told her it takes time, patience and different techniques to build a Facebook following.  She now has one.

I came up with these tips years ago for for an article about Facebook. They’re still just as valid.

• Friend everyone you kind of know:

  Don’t just friend your kids or grandkids or your Facebook experience will get pretty boring pretty quickly.   You want to find interesting grownup friends, so start with people you actually know, then branch out. Look up old high school and college buddies, friends you used to work with or bird watch with. I wound up with a Facebook friend I worked with thirty years ago.  One caveat: Avoid old boyfriends and girlfriends unless you and they are single. There can be a world of pain down that road.

  Don’t go overboard on friending.    If you do Facebook will send you a nasty note telling you you’re friending too many people you don’t know and you are to stand in the corner with your face to the wall and not send friend requests for 7 days.  

• Enough with the food posts.

     Unless you’re a great cook.  Then please include recipes.

• Share interesting news stories.

  If you read the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal online every day, share articles that intrigue you and make a comment that invites responses.   Specialize in posting whatever interests you.   I have one Facebook friend who shares obscure but fascinating articles about what’s going on in the Jewish world. I rely on her for my Jewish news updates.   Another friend is an epidemiologist and she is my go-to for all pandemic updates.  I trust her sources.

• Create an Avatar and use Backgrounds

  I find this satisfies my artistic side without my actually having to create anything.  People pay attention to boring posts as long as you give them a snazzy background.  Of course, not boring is better.  

  Make sure to create an avatar while you’re at it.  I gave my avatar wrinkles and gray hair. I wish I was as cute as she is.  

• Ask questions

  People love answering questions. Whenever I ask for cat advice I get flooded with answers, often contradictory, which gives rise to heated arguments which makes me seem more interesting.  A recent query about what designation older people preferred—elder, older, senior, etc—led to a lot of contentious responses and even a spinoff on someone else’s page who disagreed with me.

• Friend people with shared interests

  I friend writers and as a result have many writer friends on Facebook I would never meet otherwise, which is great not only for networking but for writing tips and publishing gossip.  Whether you’re an engineer, filmmaker or a teacher, do a search for those occupations and friend interesting people who do what you do.  It helps if you have some mutual friends.

• Post fun photos and videos

  I don’t do enough of this because I’m a lousy photographer but a post with a photo is likely to get a bigger response. Here’s your opportunity to brag about your adorable grandchildren. Post their photos and watch friends respond with “how cute.”  You can make your own videos if you know how to do that, or find them on YouTube.  Cute animal videos are a guaranteed attention-getter, but you may not want to sink that low.

• Comment on your friends’ statuses.

  The whole point of Facebook is to make friends and garner comments on your own status, but to do that you have to comment on other people’s. The more you comment on your friends’ statuses, the more those friends will appear in your newsfeed and the more you’ll appear in theirs.   If you want to make new friends, being active on threads with people you’d like to be friends with will make your name familiar to them and make it more likely they’ll accept your friend request.  

• Friend strangers you’d like to get to know.

  Don’t bother friending big celebrities, but if you’ve always wanted to communicate with a favorite non-famous artist or musician or writer, send a message with a friend request letting that person know why you’re friending them. If you say something like “I loved your latest album” or “ your book kept me up all night,” you may be surprised to find that they’ve confirmed you, especially if your page looks at least somewhat interesting.

  Be aware that those messages will wind up in their “other” folder since you’re not friends yet, but they’ll probably see it eventually. (The “other” folder is next to the messages from your friends)  

• Friend me

  Remember to send a message as well so I know you’re a Snarky Senior subscriber.  Once you’re my Facebook friend start commenting on my statuses. I want to make some interesting new friends.