Unfortunately, I felt uncomfortable around old ppl when I was young. Sometimes only experience teaches the lesson. I dislike being called young lady bc it reinforces that I m not. If only young ppl could treat us like ppl without ageism. Doubt it will happen.
OMG I could have written this and actually have in other places. On other FB pages. I am 71 going on 72 in a few days and I am so goddamned sick of being infantilized and treated like an incompetent old ninny I could scream. One of the things I find most irritating is when smarmy young men in their late teens and twenties call me “dear” and sweetheart and honey ad nauseum. I frequently say to them don’t call me that - I’m old enough to be your grandmother and you don’t know me from a hole in the wall. Young women as well. Yes I have gray hair and yes I use a walker but I also live alone, drive my own car, and have all my own marbles thank you. I also know that people are just trying to be nice and think they are being helpful or polite or whatever when they come across the parking lot to ask if I need help getting into my car while I am in the middle of folding up my walker. I try to be polite but finally I lost it the other day and said very pleasantly back to the woman - do I *look* like I need help? She just walked away in a huff. What do these people think poor ancient me does when they’re not around to help me? I’ve had people accidentally almost kill me by opening up a door behind me with no warning when I’m perfectly balanced against it to get my walker and me out easily. I almost fell hard backwards because I was put so off balance. I know they were just trying to help me. It’s amazing how some people will passionately support Trumpence’s efforts to destroy social security, Medicaid and all kinds of benefits to help children and people less fortunate than them, but they can’t wait to show how helpful they are to white-haired old women whom they assume must be in great need of their aid - not.
I very much agree with this point of view. My personal pet peeve is using the term "granny" when the subject has nothing to do with the presence of grandchildren. I'm 70 and not a "granny," but even if I were, I think the term is offensive. It implies you think this person belongs in a ruffled apron baking cookies. I also hate the assumption that I'm technically ignorant when I was working with computers before some of the people making that assumption were born.
Am I right to think the woman in the story is not riding a mobility scooter? I got a joking comment from a guy in an SUV in South Africa when we shared the road, I on a mobility scooter. He called out, “ Don’t go too fast or you’ll get a ticket!” Since I have dark hair, mostly, I assumed it was able-ism, not ageism.
When I was young, I loved old people. I loved their fragrance-unique aromas individually crafted from their habits and possessions; i.e. pipe tobacco and sun dried flannel or double mint gum wrappers, loose tobacco from purse abused cigarettes and baby powder. Older people are habitual in matters of expression- they settle into ways of dress and style; they eat/drink certain things at certain times, and these consistencies I have always found comforting. I’ve don’t think of old people as reminders of mortality - they are exemplary models of living well; they are keepers of wisdom, knowledge, and history. Fragility comes with age, but from my experience most things of high value are fragile.
I think if a person is involved in something engaging and worthwhile, then he/she wouldn't focus on what younger people might be thinking about them. I'm not that interested in younger people anyway.
Well, that’s nice for you, but guess what? It’s possible to be constantly involved in “engaging and worthwhile activities” and still have to suffer the indignities of being patronized and infantilized. They are as mutually exclusive. Nice for you that you have the luxury of being above it all. I hope you always will.
Unfortunately, I felt uncomfortable around old ppl when I was young. Sometimes only experience teaches the lesson. I dislike being called young lady bc it reinforces that I m not. If only young ppl could treat us like ppl without ageism. Doubt it will happen.
OMG I could have written this and actually have in other places. On other FB pages. I am 71 going on 72 in a few days and I am so goddamned sick of being infantilized and treated like an incompetent old ninny I could scream. One of the things I find most irritating is when smarmy young men in their late teens and twenties call me “dear” and sweetheart and honey ad nauseum. I frequently say to them don’t call me that - I’m old enough to be your grandmother and you don’t know me from a hole in the wall. Young women as well. Yes I have gray hair and yes I use a walker but I also live alone, drive my own car, and have all my own marbles thank you. I also know that people are just trying to be nice and think they are being helpful or polite or whatever when they come across the parking lot to ask if I need help getting into my car while I am in the middle of folding up my walker. I try to be polite but finally I lost it the other day and said very pleasantly back to the woman - do I *look* like I need help? She just walked away in a huff. What do these people think poor ancient me does when they’re not around to help me? I’ve had people accidentally almost kill me by opening up a door behind me with no warning when I’m perfectly balanced against it to get my walker and me out easily. I almost fell hard backwards because I was put so off balance. I know they were just trying to help me. It’s amazing how some people will passionately support Trumpence’s efforts to destroy social security, Medicaid and all kinds of benefits to help children and people less fortunate than them, but they can’t wait to show how helpful they are to white-haired old women whom they assume must be in great need of their aid - not.
Great observations. Same thing happens to me
I very much agree with this point of view. My personal pet peeve is using the term "granny" when the subject has nothing to do with the presence of grandchildren. I'm 70 and not a "granny," but even if I were, I think the term is offensive. It implies you think this person belongs in a ruffled apron baking cookies. I also hate the assumption that I'm technically ignorant when I was working with computers before some of the people making that assumption were born.
I'm planning to write about this whole granny thing in a future issue.
Am I right to think the woman in the story is not riding a mobility scooter? I got a joking comment from a guy in an SUV in South Africa when we shared the road, I on a mobility scooter. He called out, “ Don’t go too fast or you’ll get a ticket!” Since I have dark hair, mostly, I assumed it was able-ism, not ageism.
No, I think she's on a real scooter, the kind you stand on with one foot while pushing wth the other. At least that's what I thought.
Yes. That kind. 😊
What are your thoughts about being called “spry”?
When I was young, I loved old people. I loved their fragrance-unique aromas individually crafted from their habits and possessions; i.e. pipe tobacco and sun dried flannel or double mint gum wrappers, loose tobacco from purse abused cigarettes and baby powder. Older people are habitual in matters of expression- they settle into ways of dress and style; they eat/drink certain things at certain times, and these consistencies I have always found comforting. I’ve don’t think of old people as reminders of mortality - they are exemplary models of living well; they are keepers of wisdom, knowledge, and history. Fragility comes with age, but from my experience most things of high value are fragile.
You are not only an artist Margaret, but quite a writer. Beautifully put. Spry isn't bad. I wish I was spry. Thanks for your thoughts. I miss you.
Thank you for including a nod to my article in yours. I’ve subscribed now, and am all in for your snarkiness. 👍🏽
I think if a person is involved in something engaging and worthwhile, then he/she wouldn't focus on what younger people might be thinking about them. I'm not that interested in younger people anyway.
Well, that’s nice for you, but guess what? It’s possible to be constantly involved in “engaging and worthwhile activities” and still have to suffer the indignities of being patronized and infantilized. They are as mutually exclusive. Nice for you that you have the luxury of being above it all. I hope you always will.
OOPss - major typo here! It should read "They are NOT mutually exclusive". Don't know how that got by me. Sorry!
I'm hoping this is relevant to other seniors, if not you.