In Hebrew, this concept is referred to as hashgacha pratit, divine providence
I’m with Lauri. My story haunts me but I will keep it to myself for the time being. For now, all I can offer is that you have come to terms with what happened, accepted responsibility, and tried to repair your world as best you can. I was injured an auto accident which I caused, and was consumed with guilt. A hospital chaplain, a humanist, offered the same insight to me. I was in a Pirkei Avot study group and we struggled with that passage. The perspective you offer is interesting. One more comment: most of us have lived lives with actions we now regret. Mine happened in college, decades ago. Everyone wants to appear “good”, and sharing makes us vulnerable to criticism. But we discover our common humanity through sharing, and can offer the knowledge that we are not alone.
What a beautiful life and profound writing. This is just hauntingly beautiful! Thank you for sharing this!
Wow - what a life! I hope you have a way to contact your daughter. I don't know for sure, but I think that if she knew there wasn't a lot of time left, she would want to see you. She might feel very regretful if she missed a last opportunity to re-connect with you.
This is very moving. When I read a moving substack piece like this, I don't really want to jump in and start telling my own stories. It seems more respectful to sit with it for a while, let the author's words resonate as they will. And in this case, be a witness to your understanding of your own past. I'll add something later maybe- but no need to now. Thank you.