Trump is the ultimate condo commando

Age and power are narcotics for narcissistic personalities, and narcissistic old men are the worst offenders.

 

This is the midweek edition of Snarky Senior — the newsletter from Erica Manfred, which you can read about here. If you like it and don’t want to miss an issue, you can get it in your inbox by subscribing.

There was a loud knock on my condo apartment door.  I’d been living in Century Village for a few months but had never met my neighbors, and had no idea who ran the place.  When I opened it I found a short skinny old man glowering at me.  He stuck his nose in my face and started yelling.

 “I’m your building president and you can’t leave your shopping cart here,” he pointed to a little laundry bag on wheels in front of my door.”  There are rules here and you have to follow them.

Before I could answer he went on loudly, “And you can’t throw junk mail in the garbage can in the laundry room. You’ve been parking your car over the line—you need to stay in your space.  And it has oil stains under it.  You need to get it checked.  We can’t have oil in the parking lot.”

I spluttered, but…but….but…   None of these seemed like major offenses but he wasn’t interested in my responses    I protested that my car was brand new and wasn’t leaking oil; no one was using the spot next to me in the parking lot; I had no idea it wasn’t permitted to throw garbage in the garbage can; and I’d left my shopping bag out overnight to dry because it was wet.

 He wasn’t interested, he threatened to report me to the board and to my landlord, the owner of the apartment I lived in.

I’d never met a condo commando until I moved to a 55+ community in Florida.  Jerry Stiller did a spot on imitation of one on Seinfeld but I thought he must be exaggerating.  I was wrong.  I’d always been either are a homeowner or renter in New York City where building rules were mostly lax and unenforced.

The condo commandos I’ve met here are loud, bullying, irrational, accusatory and downright scary.  They remind me of Donald Trump.

 The scariest encounter I had was at the pool.  At the beginning of the pandemic they’d removed all the pool furniture so I brought my own chair to sit on and stationed myself far away from anyone else.  I was relaxing with an audiobook when a large old guy in plaid shorts appeared.  He towered over me menacingly and yelled at the top of his lungs that I wasn’t allowed to sit at the pool.  When I tried to ignore him he kept yelling louder and louder.  “It’s people like you who ruin it for everyone else.  You better obey the rules lady or you’ll get thrown out.”  When I kept ignoring him he actually grabbed my towel and took off.  I fled.  I had no idea what he’d do next.

 Who are these crazy old guys who seem to run the show in condos?     My guess is that they were once in charge at whatever business they were in, and retirement doesn’t dampen their need to be in control. They are bullies, and ruling over a bunch of old people who can’t fight back comes naturally.  So they run for president of the HOA (Homeowners Association) and since no one else usually wants a demanding, unpaid job they win by default.

Both age and power have turned Trump into a condo commando--an apoplectic bully.  Even his orange complexion becomes ruddier when he’s spewing lies and abuse.  He actually started glowing during his debate with Biden.   He wasn’t like that when he lived in New York.  He was always a con man and a crook, but he had a certain dapper charm—at least on talk shows.   Age and power are narcotics for narcissistic personalities, and narcissistic old men are particularly frightening.

I believe that fighting back is the best way to deal with a bully.  I couldn’t do anything about the guy who took my towel, I didn’t even know who he was, but I wrote a nasty letter to my building president and told him that if he wanted to contact me he was to call or text me.   Under no circumstances except a dire emergency was he to knock on my door.  If he did I’d hire a lawyer and sue him for harassment.  I haven’t heard a word from him since.

 I wish it was that easy to get rid of Trump.

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