Pick a number from 1 to 10 then see if your doctor can guess what it is
It is totally impossible for me to ever answer one of those pain number questions. It makes absolutely no sense to my brain! I am heading toward a knee replacement, and I still cannot figure out how badly my knee hurts!
Oh my heavens, I hope that really isn't what happened to you, but it was amusing, and I loved both of the pain scales you gave us. I'm off to the doctor this week, not because of pain (which for me is pretty chronic, but mostly in the 2-4 scale) but because "I just don't feel right, but maybe its just age." I fear this isn't going to get a better response than you got to your initial pain response. However, I have been working very hard with this primary care doctor over the past decade or so to establish my credibility, so I have some hope of her working with me to find a solution! And I will make sure to have gone to the bathroom before I get there!!!
THIS was funny.
You certainly paint an amusing picture!